One big way we mess our kids up

“We’ve spent lifetimes thinking about our problems, but so little time actually shining the light of awareness on what is actually happening.” – Joey Lott

In my opinion and from what I have learned, one big way people can and do mess their kids up, is by not being aware of and integrating their own shadow parts of themselves (unwanted & rejected parts of self) and then they can project whatever issue they might have, big or small onto their kids, and the kids grow up and do the same to their kids and it perpetuates.

All is not lost though, because at any time, anyone can do this inner work, although hard, it’s possible. And we can undo our conditioning and integrate our shadow parts, not only for the wellbeing of kids, but for the wellbeing of ourselves and every single person we have relationships with/interact with.

We don’t have to do anything, we can do what we want, but if people are suffering, I believe this is important work.

Carl Jung’s, Jordan Peterson’s and Joey Lott’s work on this is a God send.

For anyone suffering with problems for a long time that they have never found a way to fix them; problems like depression, anxiety, eating disorders, addiction, obsessions etc. Joey Lott has an incredible online course that I can personally vouch for, that you can check out here. (Hopefully it’s still open to join, if not you can sign up to his email and receive updates of when it will next be open) Obviously this isn’t the only way, and there’s lots of good help out there. But this is one that I have found to be very effective and really get to the root of my problems.

How I landed in depression by ignoring all the warning signs.

There were at least four warning signs in my life, that unbeknownst to me, were signalling depression on the horizon. If only I could have stopped to reflect on how I was feeling at the time, and sought help before things got really bad. But I didn’t listen to how I was feeling at all, and I didn’t slow down.

This lead to a breakdown/quarter life crisis, meltdowns, chronic back pain, an anxiety disorder, burn out and finally depression. It’s ironic – I never listened to how I felt and now I’ve lost the ability to feel.

For me, I believe this is how it went down:

Warning sign 1: Stress > Warning sign 2: Chronic stress > Warning sign 3: Anxiety > Warning sign 4: Burnout > Last stop: Depression

If you can relate to any of these, I don’t need to tell you the awful effects any of them have on your mental & physical health, wellbeing, relationships, work and life in general.

I’ve learnt lots about myself going through all these things, but I don’t want anyone else to end up with depression if I can help it. So i’m writing this blog post in the hopes I can help you or someone you know, become aware of the warning signs you have, and to seek help, before things get worse.

I think that with either chronic stress, an anxiety disorder, burnout or depression: your brain is maybe telling you that something seriously needs to change in your life-style, situation, or thinking habits. Maybe you’ve been strong for too long.

For me, my life wasn’t balanced at all. I placed no value on healing, play or rest. It was like 24/7 work/achievement/productivity for most of my life. And my thinking habits were unhealthy and unhelpful. I would constantly over-analyse and over-think. My personality was always a worrier, conscientious, highly sensitive, introvert, deep thinker, strong sense of responsibility, inability to set limits, excessively ambitious, high standards and a perfectionist, with a real compulsion to achieve my high standards and goals.

All of those attributes combined, make an outcome like burnout and depression seem pretty predictable, in hindsight.

You can arrive at depression from many different routes, (trauma, genetics, social or environmental factors). For me, it started with simple stress, (and my innate inability to cope with it).

I believe if I noticed and dealt with any of the warning signs, I could have avoided depression. So watch out for those signs of yours! Best of luck on your journey.

In summary:

– Listen and pay attention to how you feel
– Be aware of your personal limits
– Schedule time to relax and play
– Identify warning signs
– Identify causes
– Identify triggers
– Talk to someone, especially GP
– Minimise triggers

By Annie Charnley.

#DepressionAwareness


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Drugged up zombie or pretty much cured for life?

Depressed people’s brains are overactive in certain areas. As Laci Green puts it: “They’re ruminating on their own inadequacy and worthlessness to an obsessive point. This over activity is an illness that actually removes people from reality and the research suggests that magic mushrooms block this obsessive activity. People that took part in the mushroom test felt much happier in the weeks after taking the shrooms.”

Some interesting studies seem to show promise in treating certain psychological problems with various currently illegal drugs. MDMA as treatment for PTSD (http://www.maps.org/conference/ps13mithoefer/), Psilocybin (magic mushrooms) for depression, LSD for anxiety (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYFLWJ_Lwss&list=PL6uC-XGZC7X5cBSTMpx5koKmwWvHlu9Qe) and Cannabis for anxiety, depression and even bi-polar disorder (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYFLWJ_Lwss&list=PL6uC-XGZC7X5cBSTMpx5koKmwWvHlu9Qe).

When you hear scientists talk about latest drug studies, it’s mostly about what the chemicals do to certain parts of your brain and what that means, but never how the person taking it actually feels. Did they have a profound realisation whilst high because the cloudy pain of judgement was released, giving them clarity on a problem? Is that why it’s good for depressed types? Because it allows them the freedom to assess life and themselves quite objectively? I doubt just having good feelings and obsessive mind activities blocked for a period of time would create lasting changes after the drug has worn off.

I find it unbelievable that the humans that claim power over other humans get to decide which things we can use, even though they have been growing on the earth for hundreds or thousands of years. And I can’t believe that they would deny anyone with mental health issues or just a curiosity about life and themselves; treatment that could possibly do far more for them than any pharmaceutical medication could ever do.

We need more clinical trials and less ‘red tape’ to find out the possible break-through this drug might have on such long term hard-to-treat disorders such as depression.

Dammit government – let us fix people and make them happy again, without being drugged up zombies on pharmaceuticals for the rest of their lives! Let’s actually cure their issues long term!

“I detect a little tension I need some social medicine”

“I detect a little tension

I need some social medicine

so brake out the bread soda

make it safe to get to know ya

not bound by this tension

a little medicine

medicine can help me talk

and put a little swagger in my walk and

give me verbal diarrhoea

help me bond with god knows who

when i’m drunk that’s what I do”

“We’re told that to be great is to be bold, and to be happy is to be sociable. Our society disfavors shy and introverted traits. One way we manifest this bias is by encouraging perfectly healthy shy people to see themselves as ill or weird. Many adults work for organizations that now assign work in teams, in offices without walls, for supervisors who value ‘people skills’ above all. As a society, we prefer action to contemplation, risk-taking to heed-taking, certainty to doubt. Studies show that we rank fast and frequent talkers as more competent, likable and even smarter than slow ones.” – Susan Cain

“Shyness and introversion — or more precisely, the careful, sensitive temperament from which both often spring — are not just normal. They are valuable. And they may be essential to the survival of our species. Shyness and introversion are not the same thing. Shy people fear negative judgment; introverts simply prefer quiet, minimally stimulating environments. But shyness and introversion share an undervalued status in a world that prizes extroversion. ” – Susan Cain

So why are we taking ‘social medicines’? Social pressure to talk like a funny, charming extrovert? Not being okay with ourselves as quiet and awkward, because society says so? If people only like you when you’re ‘drunk you’, is that what you really want?

‘Social medicine’ can come in many forms – alcohol being the main one, but also prescribed anti-anxiety type drugs, marijuana, and many other illegal drugs. The problem with that is, it’s escaping reality, escaping yourself, potentially dangerous to health/deadly, and it creates a crutch to lean on which can lead to addiction. Acceptance and love from within allows you to use these things for fun and be in control of them, so I’m going to work on achieving that!

Just one more great quote:

“The act of treating shyness as an illness obscures the value of that temperament. Ridding people of social unease need not involve pathologizing their fundamental nature, but rather urging them to use its gifts.“ – Susan Cain

For more information on this subject, visit: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/26/opinion/sunday/26shyness.html?pagewanted=all&_r=1&

“My brain is a computer, it will always run, because that’s what it’s designed to do.” – Giancarlo Esposito

It’s taken me a couple of years to come round to the idea of meditation and to see the benefits it will bring my life. I first had to experience a positive reaction and once I had that, there was no going back.

Apparently meditating 30 minutes everyday over a long period of time has been shown to lower stress, anxiety, depression, improved compassion and immune system and helps you sleep and even age better.

It is the act of quieting your mind chatter and just existing and being for a while, there’s no break truer than this. For me personally I’ve felt benefit in getting to sleep easier because of disconnecting with hundreds of thoughts, work better with lowered stress levels, and even to notice things in the moment more.

Buddha was asked: “What have you gained from Meditation?” He replied: “Nothing.” “However, let me tell you what I lost : Anger, Anxiety, Depression, Insecurity, Fear of Old Age and Death.”

So if you get really into it, you can really take a look deep inside yourself and look at your problems in a new light.

For anyone interested in what it is and how to do it, here’s a quick 5 minute demo session:  http://presidemeditation.com/preside-meditation-introduction-onroll/

And if you want some more, I’ve found this to be an excellent app: https://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/buddhify-2/id687421118?mt=8 and this website too: https://www.headspace.com/