Don’t let thoughts make you their bitch.

Just because thoughts appear in our awareness, it doesn’t mean we have to do what they say.

We don’t have to listen to thoughts, or engage with them or believe them.

We can instead just see them happen, not judge them, not try to get away from them, or fight them, and not follow them down the rabbit hole.

Sometimes, it can feel like thoughts are our friend or that they’re in fact ‘us.’ But in my view, thoughts are impartial tools to be used how we like.

To see that thoughts aren’t you, notice how when a thought appears and disappears, you were aware of that happening. You stay, while thoughts come and go.

Maybe you think you are the thinker of the thoughts?

This is how it intuitively feels and it evolved this way for good reason. However, take a moment to notice right now that you have no idea what thought will appear next. Also notice that you have no idea where that thought came from, where it got made, who ‘wrote’ it before you ‘heard’ it.

Maybe you think you can control thoughts?

To see how we can’t control thoughts; stop thinking, (like you would stop running when you didn’t want to run anymore).

We can seem to fight with thoughts, reject them, deny them, judge them, believe them, listen to them, engage with them, or we can not do any of that and allow and accept them instead.

I find it much more helpful to allow thoughts to appear, see them and not engage with them if I don’t want to or if they’re hurting me.

Be the master of the thoughts, not a slave to them. (Easier said than done, eh?)

By Annie Charnley.

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Dreams can teach us about ourselves

In my view, dreams can often have very powerful and meaningful symbolic messages that can inform us about what’s going on inside us and in our lives. But most people I know don’t seem to realise this.

We can learn about ourselves and grow, thanks to these messages (from our subconscious?). Everything in those kinds of dreams is a representation of you. The people, the buildings, the animals etc.

One powerful example would be if someone dies in your dream, (someone you know, a character, or celebrity), it can mean that an aspect of your personality is represented in them, and that part is changing, or losing it’s power.

Sometimes however, dreams don’t seem to be meaningful, and seem to just be random nonsense, in my opinion. These can include people you are crushing on, TV shows you’ve seen, things you’ve read about, for example. Just processing the day that’s gone, or just random ideas and imaginations bubbling up from the subconscious.

A site I like to use for interpreting dreams is this. There are many websites and books for interpreting dreams (I imagine some will be better than others).

There are different ways to interpret symbols, it’s not an exact science, (same with religious symbols and metaphors, in my view).

The meaning of the symbols themselves are important to think about in the context of other symbols in the dreams and your feelings at the time. You will get a more accurate and relevant interpretation if you do this.

Carl Jung has been a pioneer in dream symbolism and interpretation. He has a book called ‘The undiscovered self, with symbols and the interpretation of dreams.’ I’ve just started reading it, so I can’t comment on it yet, but he’s a genius so I can’t wait to read it.

Less is more…the minimalist philosophy.

Many people seem to like a vast choice of everything. For example, things to wear. I can relate to the dopamine hit of new things. Which is fine, but it comes at a cost; the cost of time, energy and money to name a few.

I’m finding that less is more. I used to think the more the better. I used to think more clothes, more choice, more information means more value. But I don’t think that is necessarily true!

For me now, more choice and more information means less value, because it’s too much to process and the real value drowns in the too much. So when you have less clothes, less information, less photographs; you treasure the one’s you have more, they are your absolute favourites and you can actually use them, see them, because they aren’t an overwhelming amount.

I’m very grateful to have the freedom of choice, but I find so much value in being deliberate and intentional with my choices and priorities.

I feel more lightness, more peace, less stress and less overwhelm because of adopting the minimalist philosophy.

For a tiny example, I now have 1 belt and 2 pairs of trainers, which are my favourites. (One’s I actually wear and feel good wearing).

Since being more intentional about all my possessions, and looking at whether I use them or enjoy them or not, I don’t have to fret about what to wear as much, or waste time deciding, or spend money on new things I don’t need or love.

I don’t care if I wear the same things often, that’s really not what matters most to me in life. Less time deciding, more time experiencing. Maybe that’s just me.

One big way we mess our kids up

“We’ve spent lifetimes thinking about our problems, but so little time actually shining the light of awareness on what is actually happening.” – Joey Lott

In my opinion and from what I have learned, one big way people can and do mess their kids up, is by not being aware of and integrating their own shadow parts of themselves (unwanted & rejected parts of self) and then they can project whatever issue they might have, big or small onto their kids, and the kids grow up and do the same to their kids and it perpetuates.

All is not lost though, because at any time, anyone can do this inner work, although hard, it’s possible. And we can undo our conditioning and integrate our shadow parts, not only for the wellbeing of kids, but for the wellbeing of ourselves and every single person we have relationships with/interact with.

We don’t have to do anything, we can do what we want, but if people are suffering, I believe this is important work.

Carl Jung’s, Jordan Peterson’s and Joey Lott’s work on this is a God send.

For anyone suffering with problems for a long time that they have never found a way to fix them; problems like depression, anxiety, eating disorders, addiction, obsessions etc. Joey Lott has an incredible online course that I can personally vouch for, that you can check out here. (Hopefully it’s still open to join, if not you can sign up to his email and receive updates of when it will next be open) Obviously this isn’t the only way, and there’s lots of good help out there. But this is one that I have found to be very effective and really get to the root of my problems.

Helping strangers.

Mind Fuel Pick-Ups

What do we all do when we read a really good book or see a great film? We lend it to someone or recommend it to someone, who we think would like it or benefit from it. Which is great, passing on good stuff, helping our tribe out.

But what if we expanded our feelings and cared about strangers too? I had the thought of wanting to do this, and I wish there was some sort of community board to add things to, but a lot of people wouldn’t look at that and it would only be in one place. I like the idea of leaving things on buses and benches, for people to pick up if they like the look of it.

So now, after I’ve read a print out, flyer or poster, instead of putting it in recycling, is put them around my environment, so that strangers can benefit from them too.

Some people might consider this littering, but I don’t because the idea is that someone will take it – that is the intention of the post-it saying ‘take me’ on each one.

It’s valuable information that I’ve gotten something from, and I want to share with fellow humans, in the hope they will get something from it to. And I’d like to believe that fate will determine who will pick it up, and maybe it will enter someone’s life when they need it or are ready for it.

So we’re calling them Mind Fuel Pick-up’s, and we will keep doing it. We have much compassion for our fellow humans. We all want to be happy. Hopefully this action goes towards improving people’s minds, lives, and society, even just a little bit. Even just to know that strangers care about them, could maybe improve their day. Imagine if more people did this…

Thanks for reading. Get in touch at: mindfuelstuff@gmail.com, we’d love to hear from you. If you enjoyed it, help us out and share it so other people can benefit/enjoy it too. Thanks.
 
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Schools are pumping out half-made humans.

It seems to me that the education system is too focused on making a living rather than making a life. There’s always exceptions of course, but generally speaking in at least the standard UK curriculum, schools aren’t incentivised at all to provide education to create well-rounded, happy, healthy, decent human beings. It’s not a priority. What is a priority for them seems to be producing employable consumers.

I don’t think this is the fault of the schools, they are answerable to the government. They HAVE to deliver the required curriculum, or they get backlisted. The government represents us, so it seems within our rights to get the kind of schools we want. The government obviously has it’s own agenda. I don’t understand how they don’t see the following list as super important and include it in the curriculum.

Where will people learn about things such as:

– Self-expression/finding out who you are
– Personal finance (for example student loans and lifetime debt!)
– Mental health
– How mental health and physical health are connected
– How to be a good parent
– How to raise a dog
– How to deal with emotions
– Mindfulness and meditation
– Diet and nutrition
– Critical thinking
– Life fulfilment
– Stress management
– How to run a house
– Relationship communication
– Race issues, gender issues, sexuality
– The importance of play and relaxation
– The importance of time in nature
– The importance of work/life balance
– Spirituality
– Community and cooperation
– Sustainability

Where can we learn this stuff as children if not schools? You can’t rely on parents to teach all this stuff.

It’s all essential stuff. Without the knowledge of these things, decades can be spent trying to correct everything and cause much pain and suffering. It pisses me off.

Maths, science and english are obviously really important, but they won’t help you if you have depression because you didn’t learn about emotional regulation and the importance of work/life balance! No wonder most people are unhappy and dissatisfied with life. (That’s my personal observation and opinion).

Children will grow up to be a part of society, so why doesn’t society give them all the tools they need to be happy, healthy and well-rounded? It’s mutually beneficial to educate them fully so they’re better citizens and better people.

Pupils themselves are pushing for ‘life skills’ to be taught in schools, but there’s more campaigning to be done before it’s in all schools. Holland are ahead of us in lot’s of ways, including teaching mindfulness in schools. Let’s get schools to help make whole humans, not just half one’s! Maybe schools can acquire curriculums from organisations like The Representation Project. 

I think this stuff is worth questioning and thinking about. You know my thoughts. What are yours?

Do you have any thoughts you want to share? Please get in touch at: mindfuelstuff@gmail.com, we’d love to hear from you. If you enjoyed it, help me out and share it so other people can benefit/enjoy it too. Thanks.
 
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My Bloggers Sunshine Award nomination

One of my favourite bloggers Terrance Brown nominated me for his Sunshine award and I’m thrilled.

I’ve never heard of this before but it’s something bloggers give to other bloggers who they admire and appreciate the work of.

The rules:
 According to the rules, a nominee should:

• Thank the person who nominated you.
• Answer the questions from the person who nominated you.
• Nominate other bloggers for the Sunshine Award.
• Write the same number of questions for the bloggers you nominated as you received with your nomination.
• Notify the bloggers you have nominated.

Terence’s questions with my answers:

  1. What inspires you to be the person you see in the mirror?

Hmm. I want to live an authentic life and I enjoy being honest and deep and I want to live in accordance with my values and help change society and the world for the better. Also I’m curious as hell and love getting to the core route of problems. Did I answer that right?

2. What phrase or quote do you tell yourself when you’re in need of a self-peptalk?

If I remember, I love ‘This is it” to remind me that life is right now in this moment, and not in my head in the future or past. And I use the question “is this helpful?” When I’m thinking negatively.

3. What are you most grateful for?

I need to practice gratefulness more. As you know, I have depression and it’s very hard to feel grateful when I feel hopeless and empty. But today I’m having quite a good day and I’m grateful for chocolate in times of PMS and grateful for my boyfriends rolling ability.

4. What is your favourite post on your blog, and why? (Be sure to include a link)

My favourite is Acceptance = liberation (https://mindfuelstuff.wordpress.com/2015/01/04/acceptance-liberation).  Acceptance is something I feel is insanely important for better mental health and less suffering, letting go of things you can’t change. Accepting who I am, my depression, my pain, my level of drumming ability, my level of photography ability. It’s about self compassion and I’m still trying and learning to do this. I think everyone would be better off if they were more self-compassionate and accepting of things they can’t change. Accepting it doesn’t mean I won’t improve my skills or situation, it just means I agree that this is here and it is what it is at this moment in time and not to fight the fact it’s here which doesn’t help anyone and just makes me suffer.  So I liked getting my thoughts across to people in this article.

5. What awesome lifehack have you discovered recently that has made you more productive?

This is funny because being too productive is one factor that I believe lead to my depression. I’ve had to learn to slow down a lot and learn to listen to my feelings and know my limits. I was acting as an achievement machine – when really I was human all along. Whoops. Getting out of bed and getting shower can be big achievements for me on bad days.

6. If you could gain any superpower you wish, which would it be and why?

I really like the idea of being able to fly, but I’d probably be too scared to ever use the power! (what if I fall out of the sky? etc) Lol

My questions to my nominees:

1. Was there anything in particular that inspired you to start your blog?
2. What’s one of your favourite quotes at the moment?
3. What 1 or 2 books have impacted your mind positively? 
4. What are you currently learning about or would like to learn about?
5. What do you like to do for fun?
6. Do you think having a consciousness can be a blessing and a curse?

My nominated blogs:

Terrance Brown: http://helpgrowchange.com/

Advanced life skills: http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/

Always well within: http://alwayswellwithin.com/